Category: Parent Talk
hi.
I know this is quite personal, but quite a few people ask personal things and you guys seem quite open so i'll ask i think.
I am 19, and thinking of becoming a mum one day in a few years. what I want to know is, have any of you breast fed, and how easy/hard was it? quite a few articles i've read say its difficult for blind mothers to get their babies to latch on. and also, did you find the birth in hospital good, eg the staff's attitude etc, or was it traumatic? maybe some of you had home births. i'm just trying to find out so i'm getting a broad view on how people have found motherhood.
i'm alright on changing/bathing babies etc, since i have 15 nieces and nephues younger than me, and a great nephue and a great niece. so i've been round babies since i was 7. its just the breast feeding and the birth i'm wondering about
thanks!
Hi there. I had my son last august. He's almost a year old. DON'T! LET! PEOPLE! SCARE! YOU! ABOUT! THE! BIRTH! It's not that bad. I can send you my birth story if you are interested. The key to having an easy birth is follow soem generals rules. If at all possible don't gain a lot of weight during your pregnant. Just becuase you are pregnant don't go on an eating benge because the baby doesn't need that many calories. Drink tones of water because it's makes your skin elesticity better and you won't tare. Do as much walking as you can. It will help the baby get into position, make you stronger , and don't get an epidorul! That makes it where you can push effectively and slows down the birth. Only do it if you absolutely can't take it any more. Believe you can take it. The hospital I was at was great. After I had him they got him cleaned up and only took him from me when they had to do some tests or shots. he stayed in my room all of the rest of the time. We were out of there by noon teh next day. He was 3 weeks early so his sucking reflex was a little sluggish. They didn't have an breastfeeding support in teh hospital I was at. so since he woudln't latch on no matter how many nurses tried to get him to, I pumped and gave him the colostrem in a surenge. The pediatrician wouldnt' let us go home until he had a bottle though. Once he got that bottle he woudlnt' take the breast at all. So I pumped for 9 weeks and stuff so he was still getting the good stuff, jsut not the way I wanted. I tried going to an LC but by then it was too late, he was too used to the bottle. So don't let anyone talk you out of what you want. my next baby will breast feed. I'll make damn sure of it. That's the only regret I ahve with this one. I wanted to breastfeed him so bad. Have that mother bonding time.
hi, i'd love you to send me your birthing story if you can!
thanks for all that advice, i'll store it up for future use! i really want to breast feed, but am worried that i'll stress myself out and stress the baby out if it can't latch on easly. but hopefully it will work out ok!
It was too long to send in a private message so I emailed it.
I had a C-section. I was in the hospital for three days. I breast-fed for a month. I really wanted to do it longer, but 1, I got an infection in my incission, 2. I had surgery to remove my gal-bladder. Between all that, I wasn't making enough milk, so when I went to the hospital for my gal-bladder, they lost my breast milk that I pumped. I was in there four three days, too, so when I came home, my son was alreay used to the bottle, and my milk had dried up by then. I was so sad, and I'm hoping that in the future, when we have our next child, I can breast-feed for a year like I want to. Formula's a pain in the ass for us, and to me, breastfeeding was so much easier. When you're in your own home, you can just pop out your breast (or go braless/topless, whatever makes youm feel comfortable), and let the baby eat. If you're in public, you can put a blanket over your shoulder on the same side you're nursing from, and let the baby eat that way. It's a bit challenging doing it that way ecause: the baby will sometimes pull the blanket down and you have to pull it back up so he doesn't expose your bare breast, and also sometimes the baby gets a bit freaked out having the blanket over his head (mine did). Another option when you're in public is to wear a nursing shawl, or I think it's called a breas-feeding shawl. I never got one. I was planning to buy one but that's around the time I had my gal-bladder attack. HTH.
thanks to both of you for your stories! it really helps having the experiences of people who are in the same situation as me. thanks again!
Ok, here we go. Anyone who tells you that blind mothers or blind infants have more trouble latching on are full of crap. My mother is blind and so am i and we breastfed very successfully. Some people have trouble, but being blind or sighted has nothing, nothing whatsoever to do with it. I would highly reccomend getting involved with the La Leche League before you have your baby, before you even get pregnant, as they are very helpful. Try reading "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by the LLL. The Library of Congress has it on cassette tape. If you have a doula for your birth it will make it much easier as will having a midwife instead of an OBGYN. Home birth can be
wonderful and I would highly reccomend looking into a home birth network in your area. At home or in the hospital, with an OBGYN or a midwife, a doula is a great asset. They can also help you with your breastfeeding and other things related to newborn care if you are interested. I would also reccomend looking up the Natural Child Project's website, the web site for the La Leche League and www.cosleeping.org. If you write a clear birth plan, find a doctor or midwife that you are comfortable with and not just settle for one that you have been going to, actually picking out someone you are comfortable with, your birth will be so much nicer. Do a lot of research and trust your own instincts. I would highly, highly reccomend that you join the blind parenting google group that has been so helpful to me. Look up blind parenting on google groups or look for the link that is in another topic on this board. I will look around and try to find out which topic has the link, for you, but it might take me a little while. Once you join, look up a woman named Amber as she is so encredibly helpful it's amazing. She had a home birth with great success and her birth story was so helpful to me. I was due four days ago and as soon as I have my son I will email you my birth story if you like. If you do have a hospital birth make it clear to the staff that they are to speak dirrectly to you, not your doula, not your sighted parent or partner, but to you, as you are the one giving birth, not your doula, mother, birth coach or husband. Also, you have Breastfeeding protection in public under the law in some states, of which NewYork is one of them. Covered or not, you have the right to breastfeed in public in such states and if anyone asks you to stop you can ignore them or call the police if they continue to harass you. Just FYI. If I can be of any more help, please email me and I'd be glad to discuss any other concerns you have or share any other information, articles, stories or a copy of my birth plan with you. Good luck.
Wow! thank you for all the information! good luck with the birth. I would love to hear your story when you have chance to share it. thanks again.
I can send you my birth story if you'd like. Send me a private message.
-- Allie
I unfortunately wasn't able to breast feed, I was strongly incouraged to do it while I was in labor, I was lucky to have some of the best doctors and nurses for both me and my baby when I gave birth, but one of the reasons why I couldn't breast feed was because my baby was born two months premature so he had to stay in the natle intensive care unit until he was about a month, and I wasn't giving enough milk everytime I pumped, but I do hope to breast feed if I ever do have another child. It did hurt my feelings when the doctors said I couldn't do it anymore, but I know it wasn't my fault.
my daughter is 2 years old now. i breastfeeded her for about 3 months, it was difficult at first, not cause i am blind, but it was just something new, however, i have done it for three months then my milk was not enough and when i switched to the bottle my baby does not want to feed from me anymore.
As I said previously, I had a hard time breastfeeding my son. But when my new baby is born, I hope to breastfeed successfully. Since my difficult time breastfeeding my son, I have done a little research and I know way more than I did going in to it the first time. If you are planning to have children, I strongly recomend you read the book, Nursing Your baby. You can get it from Bookshare in BrF or DAISY formats. So before you make the decision once and for all as to whether or not you will choose to nurse your baby, read this awesome informative book.
hey, I breastfeed my 23 month old son. He has gotten way better sence he was an infint with not doing it as much. He was on formla at first and breastfed but after 3 months of him constantly spitting up that stuff i was just like forget it im going 2 strickly breastfed. And I have ever sence. he also eats regular food but when he goes to sleep and is uncomfortable it helps a lot!!! O yeah, any parents out there who nurse see that when they get sick they nurse more? i mean well mine does...
Yep, I've read that if your baby is sick, and even if your are sick the best thing you could do is nurse nurse nurse! They are getting the antibodies your body is producing. I had a hard time after I came home from the hospital with bfing but I'm glad I stuck with it. It's rewarding to see your baby grow and amazing what the body has been designed to do.
I've been exclusively breastfeeding Solomon since day one. Any new skill isn't going to be easy. Babies aren't born knowing how to breastfeed. It took weeks of supplementing with pumped milk and me doing nothing but hold him before he really got the hang of it. If it doesn't work right away keep trying. The benefits to both you and baby last a lifetime. Because of Solomon's deafness I can't put him down for very long anyway so him eating from me works out. And yes you can sleep with the baby. I've woke up in the same position I fell asleep in and he's fine. And no birth isn't that bad. Attitude is everything. Train your mind to think of pain work instead of pain ouch and your halfway there. The nurses got a kick out of us. We walked and talked and did lots of breathing. Oh, don't go in hungry. Eat something high in proteene so you aren't starving by the end. You will be anyway but you don't want hunger to hit when your pushing. To establish the best bond and breastfeeding make it clear the baby stays with you right after birth. Skin to skin contact works wonders. Unless there's an immediate medical need the weight check and vitamine k shot can wait. Oh and don't let any sighted person tell you how the baby looked at them right away. Babies are born blind so for the first month or so your on the same playing field. Effort is the energy required. The study your doing now will pay off. Follow your gut. Just because they're doctors doesn't mean they know all. Do what's right for you and baby even if you change plans midway. Good luck when you decide to become a mom, you'll never regret it. Tiffany
good tiff for breast feeding. you are giving your son a gift beyond price. it has been a long long time for me so until I saw my grandbaby nursing with her mom, I forgot just how special it can be. They have a beautifully close relationship and kari seems so in tune with estella's needs and wants. i have done both. if you bottle feed, you can have a similar experience but it takes more work and effort to do what god gives the nursing mom tnaturally. oh yes, pish posh macintosh to anyone who says it is harder for blind moms to breast feed. that's a stereotype and down with those ladies and gents!!! it's challenging for anyone to learn but as with most worthwhile endeavours, the end result is worth the sometimes challenging learning curve.
Having my baby girl, God has given me a second chance at nursing. When Hannah wasborn, and I was wheeled in to my room, I nursed and bonded with her right away. It was just Daddy and I, and nobody interfered or tried to take over like they did with my son. I had at least 3 lactation consultants help me to successfully nurse Hannah so that my nipples weren't so sore and I feel likeI'm making enough milk, which was completely the opposite with poor Nathaniel. I cried everytime he nursed and because he wasn't latched on right, he wasn't taking in enough milk, so therefore,my body wasn't making enough. The first day my milk came in, I pumped two four-ounce bottles forHannah because I needed to relieve some of that pressure and she wasn't eating fast enough. Qe nurse who was attending to me was shocked, and I smiled back and said I was the mass milk-produceing mama. Lol. But since then, our bond has been great. I quit listening to all that advice I got when I had my son and I do things my way. Hannah sleeps on my chest and nuzzles me awake when she's hungry and wants to nurse. I can usually go back to sleep while she's eating, and I wake up and burp her when she's pulled her head away from me. She either asks for more or goes back to sleep. Qere's nothing more special than to hold and kiss that precious baby and to know that you're giving them what they need most; food and comfort. The best thing for me is that I don't lose much sleep over it. It takes me actually having to wake up and roll over for me to change positions, so I am not worried about rolling over on her. Besides that, she sleeps on my chest in my arms right up by my neck. Nursing so far has been great for us, and I'm so glad I get that second chance. Oh, and also, I have the number to one of my lactation consultants so I can call her anytime. A few things that are helpful to me:
A book that you can get on Bookshare called _Nursing _Your _Baby
Anursing pillow; my favorite is My Brest Friend; I like it when I want to nurse and need to use both hands because it allows me to put her in the football hold position really comfortably and easily
A rolled up washcloth works nice if you have big breasts like me and need to give them added support in order to help her latch properly
When I am pumping say, in order for me to go somewhere or do something for long periods of time when she might need to eat, qe hospital gave me a hand-held pump which I like; the brand is Ameda, but I also liked the Medela Harmony one that you can get for free if you have WIC
There's also a breastfeeding support hotline you can call 24/7, but I have to get the number for that. I'll post that later. Hth.
I just read back on this and realize that some of you might wonderhow a baby asks to nurse. There are cues that babies give you before they start to cry that tell you they want to nurse. For a blind mom like me, these cues aren't picked up on unless baby is in your arms. Some cues such as: rubbing their face against you, sucking on your hands or your face orwhatever's near their mouth, lip-smacking which you can sometimes hear if babyis in the same room with you but not near you, and that's usually the most common cues.